I’m not an Angel but I’m not a devil – Diezani

Sequel to the wave making encounter foremost nigerian journalist,Dele Momodu had with the much vilified ex-minister of petroleum,Diezani Madueke which has really revealed the new look of the cancer ravaged hitherto all powerful woman,we present the concluding part of the story as told in the boss newspaper.

On why she’s so hated.

“I was sitting on the prime portfolio in a mono product economy. I carried out my duty in the strictest terms. I stuck to my mandate which incidentally was one which I championed with my Boss, to open up the sector to our own people as long as they can satisfy the laid down rules in the Local Content Act. I ensured that Nigerians would get the right of first refusal. But unfortunately I stepped on toes, very powerful toes. I was not liked by the foreigners and also some Nigerians who lost out… Keem Belo-Osagie once told me something I cannot forget; that 90 percent of Nigerians want to do oil business but you can only satisfy about three percent, so the rest will get angry thinking you blocked them…”

Why couldn’t she make amends before it was too late? “The business of oil is like a roller-coaster, it spins you around at incredible speed. Sometimes you’re too dazed to know what hit you. The pressure is so much from every direction. You also have to deal with a cynical society where everyone believes you are a thief based on the mere perception that there is no way you can sit on top of oil and gas without pilfering…”

But are you sure you were never tempted to pilfer or even appropriate oil blocks to yourself or cronies: “Believe it or not, and God is my witness, I didn’t have to steal. I’m not an Angel but I’m not a devil. I don’t have billions anywhere. How is it possible for one woman to steal billions of dollars in a country like Nigeria? Did I blow up the vaults of the Central Bank or transfer the money to heaven? Where can you keep such money in this age of money laundering fiasco? I did my job professionally without even thinking of anyone as opposition. Otherwise we would not have approved the Oando-Conoco Phillips deal…. Tinubu came to see me three times and we approved on merit…”

We told her the belief in many circles that the money stolen was not for her personal use but was kept for use during the Presidential election: “How can I use $20billion for elections, that is absolutely impossible… My boss will never do such a thing. Many people don’t know my boss. He is a very principled and stubborn man. There are things he will not do. And there are things I will not do. I protected the interests of my country…”

But no one seems to believe you, why is it so difficult to trust your claims: “I can’t blame the doubters. They have seen more of the worst of Nigeria that it becomes difficult to trust anyone. But let me disclose something to you today because there is a difference between belief and reality… I did an unusual thing in our last days in government. I’m not sure I should tell you before people say I’m boasting…”

Not really, if it would buttress your point, Madame: “Ok, I actually left $5.6 billion in the NLNG alone… I doubt if such ever happened but no one is talking about it. I’m not seeking to be praised but to be acknowledged that I made some little contributions. That money could have been wasted on frivolities but I was determined to keep something for the incoming government once we lost the election…”

She continued: “On 4th of May, Ngozi (Dr Okonjo-Iwealla, then Minister of Finance) wrote to the President to release $2 billion from the money to clear her table and pay contractors, which would have depleted the money to $3.6 billion, but I said to the President we shouldn’t do that. I explained what the accrued money was meant for and gave a detailed background of the account… Even in the past, Ngozi and the NSA had asked to be funded from it and I stood my ground because the money was meant for the gas project in Brass LNG in Bayelsa. Conoco Phillips pulling out affected it.

“We wanted to run a gas economy. It was the money that made it possible for President Buhari to pay the bail-out… If I was corrupt I would have spent the money on paying contractors who would have been too happy to do anything… I got calls from some of them promising kickbacks if I could pay but I refused and the rest is history…”

What would you do differently if God should give you another chance: “The priority now is how to take care of my poor health. I’m battling with a very serious type of cancer. I have tried everything to contain the malevolent spread. I have had two surgeries. The first was to take out the lumps from my breast and the second was to cut deeper into the tissues. I did the last one about three weeks ago (now about five weeks). I’m still in some pains. I’ve gone through Chemotherapy and now I’m starting Radiotherapy on Monday for five weeks (two Mondays ago). I’m praying this one goes well because I don’t know if there is any thing the doctors can do beyond this… The steroids were devastating and at a point I slipped into coma on July 28. My sugar level went wild first to 25 and then to 80. The doctors called it a near-miss and I now know what they mean when people say, “health is wealth”. She continued, “My 14 year old son has been asking if Mummy would die. I really don’t know because I believe nothing is impossible for God. I’ve told my son that I will carry his children and grandchildren… I pray I will.”

“If I was a man may be things would have been different; it would never have gone to this extent… I have never stolen from my country. I will repeat that before God and man even if no one would listen. On this job, you don’t have to steal. Nigerians are the most wonderful people if you are lucky to have a few good friends who believe in you. All the foreign Ambassadors say it, the reason many often come back to work and reside in our country. People can call Nigeria and Nigerians bad names but we remain the most generous and humane people on earth…”

“But to answer your question specifically, I think if I have another chance, I will be more tempered on stepping on big toes but I will still do my job the best way but in a moderated way. Perhaps, I should have done things more subtly… I did what I thought was good for my country. I own no oil well. The President signed none for himself… I do not indulge in extravagant things even if people think I’m flamboyant. My only indulgence is my family and may be architecture and architectural interiors. I’m addicted to architectural books and magazines. That is my passion…”

“God will do as He wills. He said He will bless who He wishes to bless… There is nothing anyone can do about it. So be happy about people’s good fortune… It all feels like a bad dream but God knows the beginning from the end and the end from the beginning…”

And that was it. The story that started four hours earlier was declared ended. No attempt was made to stop her from pouring out her heart as she wanted. Her story was gripping and we could have gone on forever. We stood up to go and she agreed to a portrait shot with this reporter. Sitting there alone with her for that long had thawed our almost previously frozen relationship. We chatted like old buddies though we had only ever met once at a function in Abuja and never even had the chance to exchange numbers.

She chose a spot outside the restaurant and got her female assistant to take the picture… As we stood there, my brain did summersaults and my heart silently prayed for her. I’m not sure if she saw the solemn expression on my face… “May God perform His miracle…” Amen.