Saint Babachir “The Grass Cutter” Lawal

By

Jesutega Onokpasa

I just read an article, apparently written by sacked former Secretary to the Government of the Federation, SGF, Babachir David Lawal, which purports to be a rejoinder to a release by All Progressives Congress, APC, National Publicity Secretary, Barrister Felix Morka.

In the miserably incoherent writeup, Mr Lawal pours invective on Barrister Morka, goes shamelessly personal and reinforces blatant falsehoods a man of his age should know better than to be associated with.

Babachir Lawal claims our party, the ruling APC is an Islamic party, that Barrister Morka is the Christian spokesman of an Islamic political party and that decisions will be taken behind his back by his Muslim colleagues in the party.

If I may ask, when Babachir Lawal was the Christian SGF to a Muslim President, where all critical decisions similarly taken behind his back during the afternoon prayer sessions which he was unable to attend, as well?

Lawal claimed that unknown to Felix Morka, leaders of our party had been reaching out to him apparently to sheath his sword.

I can assure him that whoever is “reaching out” to him (if this is not another blatant lie from a crook who should be cooling his heels in jail), is certainly not an emissary of our party or of President Bola Tinubu.

If, indeed, anyone reached out to him, such folk must have merely sought to talk some sense into Babachir’s head for his own good.

The problem with this country is this nauseating phenomenon that sees misfits, dullards and bushmen rise to the greatest heights of power.

How did a character like Babachir Lawal become no less than the Secretary to the Government of the Federation, in the first place?

And what even became of that “grass cutter” criminal case?

Barrister Felix Morka, on his part, is a veteran of the struggle for democracy in this country, the democracy that saw Babachir becoming SGF!

I don’t know which grasses Babachir Lawal was cutting at the time President Tinubu and the likes of Morka and others were fighting for democracy.

Frankly, I hope, as a national officer of our party, that Morka does not dignify a character like Babachir with a response – indeed but for the purpose of setting the records straight, I think it is beneath any lawyer to be joining issues with someone that should be in jail.

Babachir says our party is an Islamic party but the leader of the Muslim Rights Concern, MURIC, recently accused us of forming a Christian majority government?

Babachir says he does not know who President Tinubu is but supported him throughout the primaries, acknowledged on national television that he is a beneficiary of Tinubu’s generosity, and, as we all know, desperately wanted to be Tinubu’s running mate?

Who do these gaslighters think they can keep fooling in this country?

It must, indeed, take a compound fool of a village goat to assert that Peter Obi won the last election without offering facts and figures to attend the assertion and then to moronically reiterate such kindergarten bluster like some drunken motor park tout.

Indeed, and as I have pointed out elsewhere, if, according to the likes of Babachir, Obi actually came first, Atiku Abubarkar came second, and President Tinubu came third, then President Tinubu would have had first needed to rig Atiku from second position to third, in which case at that stage he would be second, with Peter Obi still in first and Atiku now down to third.

Then, in order for Tinubu to have ended up at first, he would have had to then displace Obi to second and replace him at first.

The problem of course, is that Obi ended up “carrying last”!

In which case, Atiku must have attacked his boy, Obi, from behind (not necessarily surprising given the Cameroonian indigene of Dubai’s rumoured preferences), rigged him to third and then replaced him in second.

You would have to be a certified compound fool or a very dull grass cutter to believe that crap.

But come to think of it, is Babachir Lawal even able to intellectually follow this logic or is he still too engrossed cutting grass?

By the way I know Babachir Lawal is not a very bright man and might have hired some shameless hack to write even that poorly packaged article for him.

And, what was that utterly insane crap about Barrister Morka’s baptismal name “Felix” and slavery, of all things?

Every authentic Christian would know that any fellow Christian that is christened “Felix” is named after one of a number of saints in Christianity and has absolutely nothing to do with the character Lawal mentioned in his ode to idiocy.

Indeed, “Felix” is the name of four popes and more than sixty saints but I guess Babachir has been too busy cutting grass and pocketing money to know that, hence he concludes it must have something to do with a biblical character with whom he apparently shares similar questionable antecedents.

Someone who should be wearing khaki in jail calls a senior lawyer a slave?

I wonder what we would discover if we were to go to Delta and investigate the ancestry of Barrister Morka, do the same with the origins of Lawal in Adamawa, and then compare both.

Our party, the All Progressives Congress, APC, is not an Islamic party; it is a Nigerian party.

Our President is the Muslim minority head of a Christian majority family.

Our Vice President is a Muslim who built several churches for Christians while the likes of Babachir Lawal were cutting grass and stuffing money into their boxer shorts at the expense of victims of terrorism.

According to Ishaq Akintola of MURIC, the so-called Muslim/Muslim ticket that Babachir Lawal and his co-travellers in political failure, electoral bitterness and inconsolable disappointment keep complaining about has produced a “Christian majority government” for our country!

I suppose Babachir Lawal is older than Felix Morka but that aside, he can never measure up to Barrister Morka in any ramification, whatsoever.

I accordingly enjoin my learned friend not to pay heed to him other than for the purpose of possibly sending him to jail where he belongs.

Onokpasa, a lawyer, was a member of the All Progressives Congress, APC, Presidential Campaign Council, and writes from Abuja.